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Episode 236: Revelations + Observations

Welcome back to another episode of the blessed and boss up podcast. The title of today's episode is revelations and observations. So this is one of those episodes where I have about six unorganized thoughts that can fall into the categories of revelations and observation. So not necessarily a rant, but just some takeaways that have been heavy on my heart lately that I want to share here with you guys, quick church announcements.

If you guys are not subscribed to my YouTube channel, subscribe at Tatum to Mia, subscribe to anchor media's channel. If you're interested in launching or growing and monetizing your podcast, follow me on IGF Tatum to Mia and the podcast at blessed in Boston. Okay. Let us get into these revelations and observations. So the first one is don't let people make you feel like what God has you doing in this season. Isn't enough. And this is kind of a, this is coupled with another one I have on his list, talking about the importance of protecting your transitions.

And I see this particularly happening with those who are in some sort of waiting season, right? Some sort of season where you're that in that in-between area of what you pray for and actually having it. It's a vulnerable area is the area of a lot of feelings. Like I said, last week with the interview with Rosalyn, it's a space that can feel unproductive because you're acting in faith and it seems like you're not doing what you need to do to get what you want, but you're just actually just obeying God.

If the instruction is to just be still, it's a lot of feelings that go into that. And it's a lot of internal conflict of, am I doing the right thing? Should I be doing more? And then scripture often comes up with this like, oh, well, faith without works is dead. So maybe I need to add some work, but again, don't let people make you feel like what God has you doing in this season. Isn't enough. And I specifically say, what God has you doing because yes, faith without works is dead.

But the work has to be the specifics work that God has you doing at set time, right? So the work may not be, let me go and create this website or let me start posting on social media. The work could be, let me go to therapy. Let me get my habits together to where I'm meditating on the word day and night. Let me deal with my past traumas that could impact my business. The work looks different from, for all of us. And it's specific to you your season and God's plan for you.

So I can't tell you what your work should be in this season, because I don't know, you know what I'm saying? And so, but what happens is especially us type a people or people who really like to get things done, or it's just impatient people. We gravitate to what we're comfortable with, or we're gravitate to the busy work because it gives us that gratification that we're doing something. But when actuality, we're not actually getting closer to the goal, we're just getting distracted from the actual things that God needs us to do in this season.

And so I get frustrated a lot of times, and I saw it this week, which is which triggered why I wanted to say this on the podcast. I get frustrated because I believe that as people of faith, especially people of faith in this business sector, we have a responsibility to add context to the business advice that we give people. And the reason why I always stress the importance of building a relationship with God, spending time with him, reading your word, the reason why we talk about things like revelation as the missing key to your next level, living like the reason why we talk about stuff like that is because you have to go to the source for the blueprint.

You have to go to the one who is all knowing who knows your beginning from your end. He has the plans. He establishes them. He tells us what to do. As far as our day-to-day goes. He gives us the vision. The vision is for an appointed time. And he is the only one who knows when that time is. And so I say this to say, to protect your transitions, because if you're not fully sold on the fact that I'm going to do this God's way, or if you're not protecting that inner hustler, that inner type a or that, or keeping that impatience in check, you can be influenced and then taken out of alignment.

And you see it all the time with social media. I mean, we're constantly tuned in to folks highlight reel. So you see this person who has made millions, and they're saying that, okay, this is how, this is what you need to do to make millions of dollars. And this is what you're not doing. And that's why you don't have, and that's not true. And I personally hate marketing like that. Like even with my team, I tell them like, the tone needs to be, we us encouragement. You win. I mean, shoot.

Even your auntie, you say like, you get more bees with honey. So let's not get on the internet and chastise people or give them this virtual finger wag as to they only praying in. And that's why they ain't a millionaire yet. Like no prayer is still work. Obedience is work. The specifics of whatever the work entails for you. It's contingent upon what happens in that prayer time. But if you're not protecting yourself and protecting whatever transitional season you may be in, you can be influenced out of alignment and do not.

I cannot, I cannot say enough, do not be influenced out of alignment. Do not be influenced out of alignment, protect your transitions. Don't let people make you feel like what God has you doing in this season. Isn't enough. It is. It is. It's so funny to me, how once I became this six figure entrepreneur, it's like ears poked up. Now, all of a sudden that that validated my business success, if that makes sense to other people.

And I remember, and I told you guys a story all the time when I crossed the six figure threshold, I didn't even know. And so now people ask me about, and it's crazy that they even say the six figure part, but people ask me about like, oh, advice or tips or whatever. How did I get to be this six-figure entrepreneur? And I laugh in my head because that season getting to that point was, was a training ground of trust. It wasn't that I sat and created some, some masterful blueprint of business that funneled me into the six figure mark with ease or that I was the best marketer in the world and, and created the best products or services or sold the most.

It wasn't even about that. That season get into that milestone was a training ground of obedience. This episode is brought to you by paint your life. I wanted to get my father-in-law something special for father's day. And I couldn't think of what to get him. He was a pretty simple guy, but I'm wanting to give him something meaningful, especially now that he has a grandson. And so his legacy continues with our son. And so I wanted to get something that was very sentimental.

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Let's get back to the show, a training ground of trust. It was God giving me instruction and me choosing to say yes to him, despite how I felt, despite it not making sense. And then in the midst of all of that trust, I got a Google chat robot husband telling me that we've reached this milestone, but I'm so passionate about God and about seeking him on behalf of your business because I've seen it. I've seen it in my life.

I've seen it in the lives of people that I've worked with. I can't unsee it. We've talked to Roslyn last weekend. We talked about, you know, some things you just can't unsee. I can't unseal the result in the fruit of being obedient to God. I posted on my Instagram the other day. It was two years since we did the God is my CEO tour. I can't unsee signing all of those contracts in faith without selling any tickets, promising these hotels that we was going to pay them money. I can't, un-see all those invoices coming in being way more than I had in the bank.

And God making sure that every need was met. I can't not see it. I can't unsee everything that happened on that tour. I just can't. I can't un-see the fact that that was the, that after all of that obedience of me just doing the things, me just going from city to city, because that's what God told me to do shutting down my business because that's what God told me to do change in the podcast, because that's what God told me to do that training ground of trust. On the other side of that, he blessed me with the thing that I thought I gave up, which was a six-figure company, right?

So I can't unsee the fruit. And what was like, what was even more like what really took me on my face at the end of the tour. And I've told you all to the faith journey of the tour multiple times, but what really brought me to my face was during that tour. And nobody knew that I was really that I was trying to have a baby and was unsuccessful.

And that's what made the tour that much more difficult. Nobody knew what I was going through behind the scenes. And I remember before the tour kicked off, it was a very, very, very rough Tom for me. And I called Tanya, well, she's been on the show. She's like a spiritual mom to me, her and her husband and my premarital counselors and still married counselors. Like they are just such a huge, huge, huge, huge part of my life.

So I called her and I'm like, I don't know if I can do this, but I don't know if I can go on this tour. Like I'm too broken to go pour into other people. Like, that's what I felt. We're going to take a quick second to talk about hover. One of our sponsors, we know that you love learning about the tech side of entrepreneurship. And hover is a great tech company to talk about. Hover is a jumping off point for a ton of entrepreneurs, and they want you to start your business with a domain name.

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So why not get started today? Go to better You simply fill out a questionnaire to help them assess your needs. And you get matched with a counselor that you love. That's better Let's get back to the show. And when we were on the phone, I mean, she was like, you know, Tatum, if you feel like you can't do it, you can push it back. Like it's okay. Don't feel like you failed because you canceled it or you pushed it back. And so I was like, you know what? I can't do that because God told me to.

And I'll rather just put all my eggs in his basket, then not, if all of this stuff I've been reading is true, then that means that I can put all my eggs in this basket and it's going to work out cause I'm holding my breath, but I'm going to do it. And it was a tough decision, but I just had to, I, I decided, I tell you all the time, I decided when I got saved, saved in my closet, that I was going to do things God's way. And I'm not deviated from that decision.

Right? And so with this tour, people didn't know that I was going through that on the backend. So after we get through the whole tour, I'm finally able to breathe. I didn't breathe because I bought these contracts and all of that. It was per city. So I'm signing more contracts for the next city. And like, it was like, it was so much, but after we're done and I feel like I could finally exhale because we're on the last stop. It was in DC. So on them home, my family is here.

My whole family. I'm good. I'm finally over. Right? What really? Me too. My face was after that tour was over. It was the next day I was in a hotel room. I had a booked the staycation because maybe I was going to take me a break. So cause then find your voice academy retreats a couple months later. So I needed a break to switch gears, go into podcast executive mode. So the next day I'm in the hotel. I get confirmation from God to take a pregnancy test.

And when it came to my family planning journey where I was at at that time, I was like, you know what, God, you going to have to tell me when to take a test again, because I don't know if you guys have ever been in a position where you're trying to get pregnant. It can be a lot, like it's not that easy for a lot of people to get pregnant. And it's a lot more technical than you would think you have to have sex when you're obviating. And so it's like a week's timeframe that you're more fertile than others.

And then you have to wait like two weeks after that, I'll be late in time to be able to take a test. And it's it's a lot. And so I was tired of that. Disappointment sex started feeling like a job because I'm like, okay, BJ I'm ovulating. Let's go. So sex started feeling like a job. I was tired of being disappointed. I was just exhausted when it came to that. And so I was like, God, this is just impacting my mental health. And I can't keep doing this to myself. So you're going to have to just tell me, I know you said you're going to do this.

So you're just going to have to tell me when to take a test. Yes. So I left it at that day. After the tour, he says to take a test, I was like, God, I'm in a good mood from this tour. Like I'm still on a high from the fact that we even got through this. And ain't nobody about to repossess nothing of mine. Like I don't even know if I want to deal with the emotions of this.

And so the emotions of being disappointed again is where I was at. And so I was like, you know what fine. I asked you to, to tell me when to take a test. So you telling me, so let me go do it. I have one in my bag. Not because I packed it, but because I had taken so many tests, I just had them. And so there was one still in like my laptop bag. And I was so just emotionally exhausted by the topic really that I didn't even wait to look at the test.

Like I took the test, put it on the counter in the bathroom, wash my hands. I got dressed. I was getting ready to leave out to go get a massage or something. And so I'm getting dressed, pack it up my stuff. I put a timer on my phone, just so I would know, you know, when the time was up or whatever. And I just went about my business. I go back into the bathroom thinking that I'm about to just get the test and throw it in the trash and keep going because I'm used to them being negative. I looked at this test and it was positive. I was like, excuse me, what?

So I looked at it and I bawled and brought me to my knees where God was, God said to me, let me just pull myself together. All right, I'm back. God said me that because you have obeyed me. I have given you this desire of your heart. And I fell to my face and just cried because up until I told you I was holding my breath.

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And thank those you love for being a blessing airline. Let's get back to the show. I was planning a tour from maybe like November of 2018 to, and the tour was over in September of 2019. That's almost a year of just not knowing where all of these things got had doing was going to lead. I just didn't know all of the emotions of not knowing what's happened, going into my business, not knowing what's happening in my body, not just not knowing, but choosing to obey God without having the answer.

I can't unexperience that. And I can't, unexperience his faithfulness and his answer prayers and the promises that have been a result of that obedience. And so that's why I told you guys, don't let people make you feel like what God has you doing in this season is not enough because it is. And that's why I go so hard for getting people to obey God, to build a relationship with him because I can't unexperience it's him and I can't allow.

And I remind myself of these experiences often because I can't allow the frustration I may be in, in this season or another waiting period, waiting for the next. I can't allow that internal conflict and those emotions to influence me out of alignment because I know what happens when you're alive. And I can't go back to doing things my way God's way, just proves over and over again and to be better.

And so I want it to just emphasize that and share that thought because I, in a season now, or a season of the year where we're going into the second half of the year and you can make fine, you may find yourself anxious of, okay, I have six months left to accomplish this goal. There may be marketing plans and language and messaging. That's appealing to that part of you right now that you feel like you have to now go and invest in or do or hop on so that you can reach your goals before the year is over.

But I just want to remind you to continue to stay the course of what God has you doing this season. Continue to stay the course that took a lot longer. I thought it was going to, but listen, I told y'all I pray before every episode. So anytime I deviate from my notes, I already, you know, what's going on and I'm cool with that. But so I'm just wanting to share a one more, just a revelation and observation from this week.

And that's your impact is not about numbers and y'all are all entrepreneurs or entrepreneurial. And we can get caught up a lot in the numbers, right? Number of followers, the money, the listenership, if you have a podcast of views, if you have YouTube, we get caught up in the numbers because numbers matter. You know, I teach all the time that when you have people, you have profits. So numbers matter, but when it comes to making an impact, that goes way beyond what the numbers say.

That is how you show up in your day to day life and how you show up for the people that God is giving you in person. And I want to stress the importance of this because I don't want us to get so caught up in reach and attendance. And these numbers that we're not impacting our families, like is your life impacting the way that your family shows up the way is your friend's language changing as a result of being connected with you?

Are they now trying to get closer to God because of what he's doing in your life? I remember I w I was reminded of this, this week, a really good friend of mine. We've been friends for like 14, 15 years before, like when we were kids. And I remember talking to her about something and she was like, yeah, I'm going to have to just pray and ask God about that because, and I looked, and I was like, because that's not how she talks. And that's not what I'm used to hearing, being involved with her.

Decision-making it made me laugh. And it also warmed my heart because I don't preach to her. Like I don't preach to my friends. And I believe that the best sell of Christ is how you live your life and how your life is transformed as a result of living righteously. And so, and I believe that your transformation can speak much louder than anything you can say. And so I just seeing that influence show up, it really, really blessed me more than the numbers of listeners or the followers on social media.

Even like the last couple of weeks, my nanny has been out. She had a death in her family, and when she got the call, she was at our house and my heart broke, man. I sat and I cried with her and I was like, and I prayed over her before she left. And I said, you know, what? Take the time. Me and BJ were like, you know, take the time that you need. Don't worry about being paid. Don't worry about if you have a job, like take the time that you need, take the time to grieve and let us know when you're ready to come back.

And my husband, maybe like a couple of hours after she left, he came back downstairs and he was like, you know, I really think that she is assigned to us. He was like, I don't know what it is, but I really think that God placed her in our home and in our family for a reason. And I was like, yeah, that's true. I think so, too. But even just reminiscent on that, or just thinking about that over the last couple of weeks, just it's such a blessing to be a blessing in real life and wanted to share that because I'm not saying that it's not a blessing to impact the masses and, you know, to reach all of these people that the show and all of that may reach like that's great, but to be able to impact the people in your real life, in a way today, they want to know God better to be able to show the love of God, to the people that is placed in your life on a day-to-day basis.

I don't know for me, it's just another level of appreciation for God, for me in that. And it's just another level of humility in that. And I believe it's something that's just not valued enough. And I share that for those of you guys who may feel insignificant because your numbers, aren't a certain way or your follower count, isn't a certain way, but where you are still matters, even if it's not in person, if it's online, that DM conversation that you are having with that person, you still have the capacity because your following may not be huge.

Now that means you still have the capacity to communicate on a one-on-one basis with people that allows you to be a lot more effective in ministering to them and helping them and serving them the way that God wants you to serve. You may not have 20 million people on your email list, but the email list you do have allows you to have that connection and that intimacy with those that are called to you right now, there's so much value. I believe in the small there so much impact that can be made in an intimate setting via in-person or online.

And I was reminded of that recently because, you know, I spent a lot of time in the digital space via social media podcasts, and not just mine, but shows that I work on. And so I'm grateful for God for just reminding me by simply being a present more. But him just reminding me and allowing me to have eyes to see, see the power and intimacy, closely acquainted the power of those that you're closely acquainted with. So for you, those of you guys who don't have massive platforms yet, just think this week about how you can continue to transform and make may impact with the reach that you have, both in-person and offline.

So that's it. Those are my two revelations and observations from this week. I'm a wrap it up here. Send me a DM on Instagram, tag me when you post the show and let me know what revelations or observations you had this week, or how anything on this show has impacted you. Don't forget to rate the show, follow us on Instagram at bless them, bossed up. Follow me at Tatum to Mia. And I love you guys. I will talk to you next week.


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