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Episode 234: Rewire Your Mind

You're listening to blessed and bossed up with Tatum to Mia. This is more than a podcast, but in online safe space and community, where we teach purposeful women, how to be uncompromising about their faith, their business, and total life success with God as their CEO, give ready to be empowered and Bolden and given divine strategy to fulfill God's plan for your life and business. Let's start the show, work hard

For what you want in life. You work hard for what you want in life yet. Your word is your bond that you do, what you say, you're going to do it. Your word is your bond. And you do what you say, that you treat people with dignity and respect that your reach of your dreams and your willingness to work hard of your dream and your willingness to work for them

Into another episode of the blessed in Boston podcast. Y'all can we just talk about the fact that I had this espresso not too long ago and I'm lit, my husband always goes to this coffee shop that's by our house. It was to the point where one time I was like, why are you always going? And I went with him. I'm like, who is at this coffee shop that he becoming to see all the time? Oh, but I met who he was going to see today. It was that espresso. Okay. I just drank that thing and I am ready to paint the roof. This is dangerous. So I was like, it's Friday, I record this on a Friday. I need one of these on a Monday.

And so I'm like, let me go record this podcast because the fact that I'm lit varied and these notes that I got, who knows what this episode and it turned into, but I like it. Quick church announcement. If you guys are new or aspiring podcasters, and you're looking to learn how to build a profitable platform, we have the replay from anchor medias, open house available right I'll click put the link in the show notes, but you can learn more about anchor media, the company, what we do, the success stories we have and learn about our retreat that we have coming up in December. Tickets are still on sale for that.

If you guys are looking to grow in faith in business, I want you to join the society with myself and kumbaya. This is our monthly membership community, where you just get to connect and grow with a bunch of like-minded women. We do Bible studies. We do prayer calls every week, devotionals every day, last twice a week. We have challenges all the time. As you guys know, if we, because we open those things up to the general public and we have something else that's really exciting coming up soon for all of you guys who want to learn how to have a business meeting with God and how to seek out on behalf of business, stay tuned for that. All right. So let's get into today's episode.

The title of today's episode is rewire your brain brain to be well rewire your brain to be well, last week, I talked about the importance of why and how you should have a mid-year reset. And I share it with you guys, how that's, what I've really been on, especially this month of June and something I plan to be on for the foreseeable future, because I just liked the way that I feel. I like the way my body looks. I like how mentally clear I've been as a result of doing a lot of the things on that list. So if you haven't listened, go back and check out that episode.

But I wanted to do today's episode or rewire your brain to be well, because I feel like when we talk about mental health, and this is not a mental health episode, but hear me out a lot of times, when we talk about mental health, we speak a lot about just dealing with conditions that may already be there, like anxiety or depression or any other type of mental disorder that you're trying to alleviate. But I believe it's an opportunity here though, to talk about how to make sure that we are proactive about our mental wellness. And so when I looked up the definition of, well, some adjectives are thorough, complete, efficient, effective, healthy fit, sensible wise.

Like these are things that I want to embody, especially when it comes to something as important as my mind in my brain. And this came about actually the other day when I was on one of my walks. So I've been waking up early, around like six in order to go on a walk and get, I take it usually about three laps around the route in a neighborhood, the route that I usually take. And there's usually about like three miles. And I've been going in the mornings before my son and my husband wakes up because it allows me to get it done. Then as opposed to waiting until let's say like, the nanny comes at eight 30, by the time I get out, do the walk and come back. It's like the afternoon, it's new.

By the time I shower and get dressed and all of that, it takes up too much of the day. So in order to steal some time, I do it before they wake up. And so, and I told you guys last week, that, that that's when I've been spending a lot of my time with God, I walk, I pray, listen to hear from God. I may sit down sometimes. And really just, especially if I'm going through it, I'll sit down and talk with God because I'm like, God, I can't walk and talk. Let's let's have a sit down. But the other day when I was on my walk, I was getting ready to be finished. I had finished my third lap. I was getting ready to home. And holy spirit says, do do the lap one more time.

And I was like, yeah. Okay, cool. If you telling me to do this lop again, we must got some things to discuss. And so I had already prayed and things like that. So I knew God was telling me to do another lap because it wasn't time for me to talk. It was time for me to listen. And so I took my notes out. And when I tell you guys I didn't cry, cause I'm a G, but I didn't cry, but I was just in such awe, a place that I feel like I hadn't been in a while. I mean by that is I feel like just in the midst of managing all of the blessings that God has given me and being, so hyper-focused on making sure that I'm efficient and effective in everything that I do.

I've gotten to a place where it's been a minute since I have just rested in God, if that makes sense. So like I'm used to doing what God tells me to do. I'm used to have the news business meetings and seeking him on behalf of my business, like used to doing what it is I need to do. I'm used to action, right? But I had to get back to that rest part to that point where, where I was in 2018, after God told me to shut my business down and I was waiting for him to tell me what to do next, I needed to get back to that spot where I was just totally reliant and totally confident and happy and excited about what God was going to do next.

And so, as I was on this walk, even before God told me to take the other lap, I had just got this revelation that I need to get back to that space arresting. And I think with the added responsibility, that's where I went wrong is not, I focused a lot on being able to re-evaluate the system, right. System of how to effectively manage the things that God has blessed me with. I've been very focused on that and I've talked a lot about it on my YouTube channel and it's heavy in my book, but I lost the resting part because of the added responsibility. So now the responsible I have in 2021 are very different than what I had in 2018.

I have a child now I had just gotten married back then, but now I am have been married for about three years almost now. And so now our marriage looks different than it did then because we have a child. So we have to not only care for the child, but make sure that we're caring for our relationship. That's another area of responsibility in a business. It was just me and it wasn't even really a business thing. Cause I was waiting on God to tell me what's up. It was just the podcast and a couple of products. But now I had this company. I have clients, I have employees that I'm responsible for. So the responsibilities are lot more now than then.

And I have been focusing so much on how to effect how to be effective and efficient and focusing on building the system that I forgot a key aspect of set system, which is to rest and rest isn't in a sense of don't do anything or go to the spa or take a day off. It's not about that. I get my sleep at night. I take days off when I need it. But rest in the sense of just be, I was so focused in doing, I wasn't just being in a, reminds me of a quote from my friend, Tish. We talked years ago about whatever I was stressing about at the time. And she was like, I think it was on a podcast. She was saying like, we have to stop being.

We have to focus more on being human beings as opposed to human doings. Right? And I was so mind blowing to me when she said it at the time, but it was just reiterated during this whole revelation during my walk is the importance of just being. And I believe that there is so much power in being, especially as a woman of God, because I can then just do what God tells me to do without worrying about the result. It's human nature for us to worry about the outcomes. And so in this faith journey, it's always a priority or a day to day thing where we have to bring our flesh subject to the holy spirit.

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That's R O T H Y Let's get back to the show. And so that was an aspect of my flesh that I hadn't been taking control of or taken authority of for awhile. And that, that is a contributor to why I have been more stressed out, not necessarily overwhelmed, but just mentally exhausted. If that makes sense. That was one of the contributors to my need for a reset, because I forgot to rest. And I'm so grateful for God that he would even just, yeah, I told you I could have cried.

This was before we even got to what God was downloading to me. This was just simply during the walking and praying part that he, it just put me in such a place of gratitude because he loves me so much that he shows me myself. I we've talked a lot about like rebuking the enemy and taking authority over the enemy. But let me tell you something. It is something powerful when God shows you, you, the enemy within yourself, the enemy and your behaviors, the enemy, and your coping mechanisms, the enemy and your viewpoint of yourself, the enemy in your mindset, the enemy in your decisions. And I'm so grateful for God, for who he is, because he shows me and not just this time, but time and time again, he shows me myself.

And for you guys, he shows you yourself. I would like, I could just sit here for a second and do a whole podcast on God's showing us ourselves. But that's where I was at before he even told me to take another lap. So I took another lap and not only did he show me myself, but he revealed the tactics of the enemy and then gave me strategy to make sure that I don't succumb to the weapons that are, that the enemy is forming against me. Right? So I'm not going to read you guys the whole download because that's my business. But at the end of it, God was telling me that it is of high priority for me to continue to win the battlefield of my mind.

And I'm sharing this with you guys, because I want you to put yourself and matter of fact, let me just say it to you. As God said it to me, continue to win the battlefield in your mind. It's your most valuable asset. And it's why the enemy keeps attacking you there when you're mentally clear, you're unstoppable. And so this is what God has said to me, but I wanted to bring it here on the podcast because we talked about a mental reset or just having a reset in general last week. But here I want to dive deeper into being a proactive. Now there are going to be times where we're going to need these resets period, but I want to present something to you guys to where even after your reset is over and you're recharged and you're ready to take the rest of the year, how to make sure that you're a human being moving forward so that you don't need the reset as bad.

If that makes sense. And you guys know what initiated that whole revelation, it was. I didn't go on that walk like with an agenda or I didn't go out there really. I didn't really go to ask God for anything when it was, when I was having that prayer time initially, but I just went into a moment of praise. And this is why being present is so important. And we talked about that. That was one of the points of how to reset last week is be present in the day-to-day. There are so many miracles that have happened in my real life that can get less extraordinary.

So to speak. If I don't focus enough on them, there have been things that God has done in your life that were once prayer points that were once in a journal of yours with tears on the pages that you now have, but they lost the level of significance that you once placed on them because you've gotten used to it. And I believe it's very, very important for us not to get used, not to get so used to what God has done. That the miracles in our life use their, excuse me, lose their ability to refuel our faith about the next thing. And so when I was on the walk, I was just thinking, even thinking about my grandmother, we going to call her miracle, Mary, her name is Mary, but I'm calling her miracle.

Mary I've been very Frank on the show about how earlier in the year she was diagnosed with cancer. She was diagnosed with stage four anaplastic, thyroid cancer, a very, very rare cancer to the point where 500 to a thousand people in the us a year, get it that's it. There was only one specialist in our area that specializes. And I live in the DC Metro area. So this is an area where pretty much everything, a lot of things are here. So very, very rare cancer, very, very aggressive cancer. She is somebody who has not the last time she was in the hospital. She said it was when my aunt was born. And my aunt is almost here. This episode is brought to you by Skillshare.

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That's better Let's get back to the show. Somebody who has had immaculate health, her whole entire life was diagnosed with this disease with a prognosis of only three months. She had a, a appointment the whole time, even during the diagnosis, whenever we would go to the doctors, they will be perplexed. They will be like, well, Ms. Mary, I'm looking at your charts and your files and what the tests are saying. And I'm looking at you and it's not adding up. You're not supposed to be doing this well. You're not supposed to be walking around and all of that. And like, this doesn't make sense. I don't even, it doesn't look like the same person even.

And I was in the beginning even more like last week, she had a meeting with, or a, an appointment with the specialist for this type of cancer. And she said, Ms. Mary, I'm gonna be honest with you. You're a miracle people with this type of cancer, don't live three months. And you're past that. She's passed what they say. She should be living. And not only have that her quality of life now was the same as it was before she was diagnosed. She's not on the oxygen done gone. She doesn't need oxygen anymore. Walker done doesn't need to walk her anymore. They discharged her from physical therapy because she's strong and able and, and does whatever she wants to do.

And so we still, you know, monitor and take care of her, all of those things, but she's amazing Oracle and just walk in and praying and talking to God. And I, and I was like, God, like this miracle is right in my face. Even looking at my son every single day, there was a point in time where I didn't know if, if being a mother was a title that I was going to hold because of my body's inability to, to carry life. But I get to look at my son every single day. I get to look at my grandmother multiple times a week, pretty much every day, because if I'm not with her, I'm on FaceTime.

And like, is these, these miracles are okay in my face. And so, as I was praying, I was like, man, God, I don't have to go find inspiration. I don't have to go in and listen to somebody else's testimony or intake all of these different resources about faith. I'm looking at what you're doing here. And it's so crazy. Sometimes when it's our life order, things does right in front of us that somehow we don't look at it as, as immaculate as it really is. But it's something when you just decide to be present in the miracles, that's manifesting in your life in real time. And so I found myself just on that walk man, before we even got to the point where God was downloading things to me and revealing myself to me, I was just in praise.

I'm reading this book right now. And I actually decided to read it more. So just for parenthood purposes, it's called the whole brain child, a 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind. And so this was one of my June reads that I picked up because my son is entering into toddler ship and I'm wanting to make sure that me and my husband and, you know, everybody who was in his village were just giving him what he needs to develop and grow as a mentally healthy emotionally well and overall happy kid. And so this book reveal some things to me in the beginning, that's relevant for us as adults, not even just for kids.

And this goes into us, making sure that our brain is mentally well. And this is actually where the title of the episode came from. So in the book, it says that most of don't think about the fact that our brain has many different parts with different jobs. For example, you have a left side of the brain that helps you think logically and organize thoughts into sentences and or right side that helps you experience emotion and read non-verbal cues. You also have a reptile brain that allows you to act instinctively and make split second survival decisions and a mammal brain that leads you towards connection and relationships. One part of your brain is devoted to dealing with memory.

Another is to making moral and ethical decisions. It's almost as if your brain has multiple personalities, some rational, some irrational, some reflective, some reactive. The key to thriving is to help these parts work well together. So to integrate them, integration takes the distinct parts of your brain and helps them work together as a whole. It's similar to what happens in the body, which has different organs to perform different jobs. The lungs breathe, air the heart, pumps, blood, the stomach, digest food for the body to be healthy. These organs all need to be integrated. In other words, they each need to do their individual job while also working together as a whole integration is simply that linking different elements together to make a well-functioning whole, just as with the healthy functioning of the body, your brain can't perform at its best and lets its different parts work well together in a coordinated and balanced way.

That's what integration does it coordinates and balances the separate regions of the brain that it links together. When we are integrated, we become overwhelmed by emotions, confused and chaotic. So it starts talking about like how this, how, when kids are integrated, how they have like tantrums and things of that nature. But this is very relevant to us as adults when we aren't using our brain in the most efficient way, which this book is proposing is using our brain in an integrated way. We become overwhelmed. We become, our mind becomes chaotic and we aren't mentally clear. What was even more interesting to me is when they started talking about this recent study, they said in recent years, scientists have developed brain scanning technology that allows researchers to study the brain in ways that were never before possible.

This new technology has confirmed much of what we previously believed about the brain. However, one of the surprises that has shaken the very foundations of neuroscience is the discovery that the brain is actually plastic or moldable. This means that the brain physically changes throughout the course of our lives, not just in childhood, as we have previously assumed what modes our brains experience, even in so age, our experiences actually change the physical structure of the brain. When we undergo and experience our brain called neurons become active or they fire the brain has 100 billion neurons each with an average of 10,000 connections to other neurons.

The ways in which the particular circuits in the brain are activated, determines the nature of our mental activity ranging from proceeding sights or sounds so more abstract thought and reasoning. When neurons fire together, they grow new connections between them over time. The connections that result from firing lead to rewiring the brain. This is incredibly exciting news. It means that we aren't held captive for the rest of our lives, by the way, our brains work at this moment, we can actually rewire it so that we can be healthier and happier. This is not only true for children and adolescents, but for each of us across the lifespan.

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Let's get back to the show. Y'all this blue in my mind, because this is the fact that our brains can be rewired. And then not only did they talk about how our brains can be rewired, but the key to rewiring them is experience, right? So for us now, when we're trying to live these mentally clear lives so that we can fully live out the things that God has called us to do, be fulfilled, to be happy, be joyful, be well. The key to that is to create experiences that promotes our brain to operate in an integrated way. So I want to propose to you guys a couple of experiences that you can implement in your life, moving forward that promotes this mental wellness that allows you to rewire your brain to be well.

So the first experience that I want you to implement is to replace influence with wise counsel based on definition, an influencer has the capacity to have an effect on the character development or behavior of someone or something or the effect itself. And so when I say influencer, don't think just about a person or a page or a platform, an influencer can be your friends. An influencer can be what you watch on TV. An influencer can be the music that you listen to. All of these things work together. Influencer is simply something, someone that has the capacity to have an effect on you.

That's why influencers get paid the big bucks. That's why they pay me to present a product or something to you in the form of an ad because of the influence that I have with my platform. And that's why it's my responsibility. That I'm only presenting you guys with things that are quality. And I really think you're going to love, but this is the game like this is the world that we live in. We're influenced matters, right? But as people who want to be mentally, well, we have to understand that, but also be responsible for our mental wellness enough to where we're taking out some of that influence and replacing it with wise counsel. The Bible says that bad company, corrupts, good character and company is not just in the people that you keep around you, but it's in the things that you allow yourself to consume.

And it's also important to note here that wisdom comes from God. So when it comes to wise counsel, that means that you should be consuming things, information surrounding yourself, with people who hear and do who are heroes and doers of the word, who, who are used by God and the things that they do. And they say, and who live righteously, not perfectly but righteously and live a submitted life. Because if there, if God is speaking to them, then you can trust that what they're speaking to you has wisdom involved because it's of God. I remember when I first met my husband and we met at work. So we worked together and were cool before we started dating.

And after we were already talking a little bit, I had something happened at work. And one of the little tests I used to always do with boyfriends or people I was interested in is I would go to them when I was having trouble, because I wanted to see how they responded to me or the type of advice they would give me when I was trying to, when I was going through something or try to figure something out. That was a little test that I did because I just needed to know that they were going to be able to really be there for me, if that makes sense. So that was what I did with him. So my boss was getting on my nerves. Something was frustrated me at, at work. I have no clue what it was now.

And so I, I hit him up and I was like, Hey, walk me to Chipotle. So it was our lunch break. It was at your poli around the corner. It was long enough. It was a long enough walk to have a decent conversation. And so I was explaining to him just what was frustrated me and what was going on. And one of the key reasons I knew that I needed to keep this person around, be a boyfriend or friend or whatever was he responded to my difficulties with the word. And I remember it was, I forgot the scripture. It was, but it was the fact that he responded to my trouble with scripture. So now he didn't just become someone who was a person of interest or somebody that I was dating.

Now he became wise counsel in that moment because he was speaking to me with wisdom. And that of course influenced my decision to continue the data and eventually marry him. Because if you're being led by God, I don't have no problem following and submit to you because I could trust that way that I can trust. Who's leading you. So I don't have no problem following, but, but yeah, never the less him responding to me and scripture made him wise counsel. I have people in my life now who I call when something is going on, or when I'm thinking about doing things. And I want to make sure that I'm not moving on my own emotions. I want to make sure I'm not moving on my own opinion, but people that I know here from God that I can talk stuff out with.

And so there are people I call they'll let me vent and they'll respond with the word, like no Tatum, you need to do this because this is how God says that we should handle this situation. No, you need to do that because the word says this, or I'm going to just pray. And even if they don't have anything to say or a message at that moment, like let's pray about this and seek God on behalf of this subject. When I got the idea for anchor media, and I try to even embody this with myself and my relationships, like not just if people being, not just people being wise counsel to me, but I want to be wise counsel to people as well. So when somebody presents me with a problem or whatever, in my friendships and real life relationships, let's pray about it.

And when I got the idea for anchor media, I was fascinated with my friend, Kristin, because I wanted to seek God and really add my prayers with her prayers on behalf of what she was doing in her business. And so you just want to make sure that whatever is pouring into you, God is pouring into them. And that's the difference between influence and wise counsel is what's driving it in Psalms one. I'm a read verse one through six, it said blessed is the one it says blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers. But whose delight is in the law of the Lord and who meditates on his law day and night, that person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither whatever they do prospers not.

So the wicked, they are like chests that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in judgment nor senders centers and the assembly of the righteous for the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction. And so, again, the way of the wicked leads to destruction. So when you're being influenced by things that are not being influenced by God, or being molded by God and are not delighting in the law of the Lord, as the scripture says, then you are being influenced into destruction. That's the most Frank way that I can say that distraction and being mentally well, don't go together.

Okay. We want to rewire our brains to be well, you guys, that's the whole point of this episode. So this experience that I want you to start implementing is make sure that you are replacing influence with wise counsel. The next thing that I want you to do, or next experience that I want you to incorporate in your life builds off of what we talked about last week. So last week I told you guys to go on a walk and I told you about something that <inaudible> always talks about taking a scripture card and meditating on the word as you're going on your walk and spending your time with God. I want to take it a step further.

And I want you to take the scripture card and have the scripture on it, but write the who, the what the, when the why and the how, and what I'm trying to get you to do at that point is to add context, because we can't just pick scriptures and apply our own meaning to them. What was said was said for a reason. And we need to understand why it was said the environment in which it was said, who said it, the results of it being said, in order to effectively apply it to our life, we can't just be hearers of the word. We have to be doers of the word. And in order to do something, we have to understand it.

And then as you do that, holy spirit will start to reveal and reveal those specifics of how it applies to your life and your current situation. So when you have these cards, right, the context of it, and by focusing on wisdom and wisdom is the word of God, Romans 12 and two says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is his good pleasing and perfect will. So what will happen, even if we go back to some, one that I read earlier, it said, blessed is the one who does not walk in the step of the wicked or stand in a way that sinners take or sit in a company of mockers.

But whose delight is in the law of the Lord and who meditates on his law day and night. So a huge part of me mentally well is renewing our mind to soak up wisdom, creating experiences, where we are soaking up wisdom. When we are delighting in the law of the Lord, when we are meditating on his law, then we will be blessed. So I hope you guys are understanding how this is all working together because we are renewing and resetting, but we also want to make sure that we are maintaining and being proactive about being mentally well in a way that we do that is by rewiring our brain.

So add these experiences in, you can add them onto the things that we talked about last week, but that's it. I love you guys. Thank you for tuning into another episode of the blessed in Boston podcast. Follow us on Instagram at blessed and bossed up. Follow me at Tatum to Mia tag, me and your posts. Rate the show. Subscribe wherever you listen to the podcast. And let me know what you guys thought of this week's episode. See you next week. Bye.


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