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Episode 233: How and Why to Do a Mid-Year Reset

You're listening to bless them, bossed up with Tatum Temia. This is more than a podcast, but in online safe space and community, where we teach purposeful women, how to be uncompromising about their faith, their business, and total life success with God as their CEO, get ready to be empowered and Bolden and given divine strategy to fulfill God's plan for your life and business. Let's start the show

For what you want in life. You work hard for what you want in life. That your word is your bond that you do, what you say you're gonna do. And your word is your bond. And you do. But you say that you treat people with dignity and respect that your team people reach of your dreams and your willingness to work hard of your dream and your willingness to work for them.

Episode of the blessed in Boston podcast. On today's episode, I'm going to give you guys just my case for why I believe you, me, all of us need a mid-year reset and also how to do that and what that looks like, where in June, the halfway point of 2021, I don't know what you guys initial goals were for the year. I don't know what, like maybe you had a word for the year. Maybe you had a verse for the year. Maybe you had a whole vision board for the year or a list of goals in every area of your life, whatever it may be. I believe that it's important at this mid point of the year for us to reset.

And I replayed the episode. I did last week to cover the spiritual side because today I'm going to be talking more so about practical things, but I wanted to replay that story of Moses and the episode we talked about getting back to our intended purpose, because that's a part of a reset as well. Getting back to your intended purpose, getting back to who and what God created you to be in this world. But here I, I want to talk about a reset in a state where we can just claim our mind back claim our mental health back claim. Our peace of mind that when we look up the word recent, it means to move something back to its original place or position.

And what I thought was also interesting about the definition was that if something is broken, when a to reset means to put it in the correct position for healing. And I know for me personally, the reason why I decided to take a mid year reset is I needed to be put back into position for healing and not to say that anything was broken, but I've been pretty Frank. How this year has really just been a lot for me, just a lot of things have happened in my family and stuff like that. And so for me, getting back this reset is getting back to a place where I'm reclaiming my life. I'm my, or resetting my peace of mind.

My day-to-day the way in which I carry out the purpose and the vision that God has given me, because I feel like life has kind of pulled me in different directions. And I, I started experiencing these symptoms and we're going to call these symptoms that you need a reset, because I believe that these are things that are across the board. So I started experiencing things like just heaviness and tension in my shoulders. I was getting a lot of migraines and headaches. I'm the type of person where stress triggers migraines for me. I was getting a lot of headaches. I will find myself getting frustrated really easily. My patients I'm already not that patient of a person, but my patients was a lot more thin and my mind just felt foggy and cloudy.

And I didn't like feeling like that. It's like, how are you feel when you just eat garbage for a long period of time? And that's not where I was at. I eat pretty well. Like I don't eat terribly. I don't eat super clean. I'm just kind of regular, if that makes sense. And so, and I exercise pretty frequently. So I wasn't, it wasn't anything physical, but the symptoms that I was exhibiting, let me know that something are reset, needed to happen as far as how I was showing up in the day-to-day as well as a reset needed to happen, as far as me having or maintaining the quality of my day to day. And let me tell you, since I've started, my mid-year reset, I started it and we're going to get into what that looks like.

I started it at the top of June. I've experienced a clear mind. My mood has improved. My creativity is through the roof. Like I had so many notes and memos and journals and things full of creative ideas. Like it's, my creativity is just through the roof. I feel like I'm able to hear God a lot more clearly the noise in my life is dramatically calmed down. And so I was like, I have to talk about this on the podcast, because even if life hasn't been pulling you in a bunch of different directions, physically, I can guess that you have been pulled in different directions, even because of what's going on in the world.

We have kids who are on summer break, but they're going to be going back to school in person. We have offices opening back up where people are now going from teleworking. So working back in the office, I know my husband was like, oh, our job has started phase one of us coming back into the office. I said, well, what phase they think you're going back? Because I don't know how I feel about that because I've gotten used to him being in the house with me all the time. And so what about, I feel like I'm going to have separation anxiety. Like, what am I going to do when you're at the office? But, but yeah, like it's like, yeah, hit us hard with COVID and locked down. And all of the monkey wrenches that were thrown in our lives because of that.

And then, you know, life doesn't stop even in the midst of a pandemic. So I can just get yes, that y'all are feeling me and that I'm feeling. Yeah. And now we are on the same page, as far as the need for a mid-year reset and says, if your life is just beautiful and calm and everything is going great and you don't need no reset, let me know what you doing. Cause your girl needed one. And I took one and I'm taking one and I've noticed the results. But seriously, the biggest reason why a reset is needed is because a lot of time we need to recalibrate our minds so that we have mental clarity.

I believe that attacking our mental clarity is such a strategic way that the enemy gets us off track because we start to think all of the things going into are going through our minds is us. When a lot of the times is not. It's just, we consume so much and we have so many other people's opinions and thoughts and reviews and ratings and commentary or belief systems and all of these things that we're constantly consuming on social media, on YouTube TV, mag, like wherever you consume, any type of content, you start to take in all of these other beliefs and ideas and opinions of other people.

And it goes in your head and you start to think is yours when a lot of time it's not. And so w what that does is it makes our mind and our life noisy to the point where we can't hear ourselves. Think we definitely can't hear from God. And we just get that cloudy feeling in our mind and that stress in our shoulders and our neck and our back. And we need to just reset. So I'm going to give you guys 11 things that I believe will help you to reset. You can apply these things as you best see fit. I'm going to go over a couple of things that I've done so far over the last few weeks that I have noticed, helped tremendously with clearing my mind and allowing me to be a lot more in tune with what's going on in my life, in the present, as well as what's going on with me, as well as what God is saying to me in this season.

So you can apply these however you see fit. But I do believe just incorporating these things slowly but surely into your day will help you get that reset and bring you back to your intended position. So the first thing that I want you guys to do is to start and end your day with quiet time. Now that doesn't have to look like you waking up at 5:00 AM and studying the word the way that you usually do it, or you may have gotten into the routine of doing that shake stuff up a little bit. Let me tell you something that I did that felt so good. One morning, I woke up, I went into my son's playroom is where, like my exercise bike is.

So I went to the playroom and before just hopping straight on a Peloton, I had played some prophetic music on my phone, and I sh I just stretched. Literally. It was so simple. I played some prophetic music. I just stretched, just started thanking God for the day. Just started prophesying over the day, declaring peace and all of these things over my household and protection over my family, just, I just was praising and prophesied as I'm stretching. And after that was over, I felt so good. And I hopped on the bike afterwards. Cause even just getting that exercise in at the top of the day is helpful, but I just felt so clear and just, it was, I can't even describe it, but just peace, I guess, is the best way to describe it.

But just that quiet time, it was different. I'm used to sitting at the table or something or sitting up in the bed, opening my Bible and having like the highlighter and like my notebook. And you still need to do that. Of course study the word. I'm not saying don't do that, but just changing it up some by stretching and me just prophesied over my day and praising God, it was just different. I wasn't looking at anything on my phone or my computer. I cut on like some prophetic instrumentals and like apple music and just put the phone down and let those things play. And it just, it was different. It was different. I didn't have the screen time, my eyes strain in y'all know I'm blind. Like if y'all see my me and my stories and stuff, I wear glasses.

And if I don't have my glasses on, I have on contacts. Cause your girl can't see. But, but my eyes wasn't stringing and trying to look at a computer or anything like that. I was able to just start my day with clarity and peace. So I suggest doing something like that. But again, number one was starting to enjoy your day with quiet time, switch it up from something different than how you normally do it, but just spend that, spend that quality time with God. This episode is brought to you by ritual. We deserve to know what we're putting in our bodies and why, especially when it comes to something that we take every day, like vitamins. I am the type of person who loves to take supplements and things to where I know I'm putting good things into my body so that my body can function and operate at its best.

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You can just go to that list. Yeah. Do that. Revisit that list. If you don't have it, if you don't have one, just write it down and put it in your phone. Just make a simple list of things that make you happy. It doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be materialistic, but what makes you happy? I've shared before. It's something that makes me happy is just going to target, smelling the candles, getting me some Starbucks is hard to do now with the masks. And so now I start, I usually get it on my way out now, but going into, I like to go into target and just look around, buy stuff. I don't need or not buy anything at all, except for a candle. But I don't know, like some is about some y'all know, it's just something about target.

I don't know what they got going on. And as a business person, I need to know because it's just a wonderful place to just go. Another thing for me, I like oysters. And so I love to go as a place and Virginia that I like on the water. They have $1 oysters during happy hour time. So I'll be right up in there, chilling, eating. I love to eat trying a new restaurant. Like these are things that make me happy going on a drive, listening to a funny podcast with the sunroof open that's on my list. So what's on your list created so that during this reset time, and, and again, this reset doesn't have to be just for June.

It can be as long as you need it to be, but this is just getting us into a mentally clear place so that we can be more efficient, more effective and more happy in our day-to-day life. Number three, go outside for walks, go out side. When I, whenever I'm at home and I go for a walk, my husband be texting me like you good. I'll be out. It'd be like two hours. I am gone. And so, and usually what I do is I'll walk, but I'll find like somewhere that's pretty as a, across the street from mine that has like this little lake with a trail around it. And so I'd go over there and I just sit on a bench and look at the water, wash the ducks, walk across the lake.

I'm talking to God, I'm praying. I'm praying. I'm just, just chilling, listening to music. Sometimes I cut the music off completely and just walk by. It's something about just being out in nature, breathing fresh air, letting the sun hit your skin. Just it's just something about that. For me, that just feels good. And there are a ton of studies and research that shows the benefits of fresh air, because even now with the mask and everything, a lot of us are not getting fresh air like we should. And so just taking that mask off when your distance from folks and all of that and by yourself outside and just soaking in that fresh air, I'm trying to tell y'all incorporate that into your day.

So we have it. Matter of fact, had your quiet time during that time. So get up, maybe pick Kavita, always recommends this where she talks about scripture cards that she has, where she'll write down scriptures on index cards. So that way you don't need your phone or anything, take that some of the scriptures that you want to meditate on, write them on those cards, go for a walk in the morning when you wake up, the sun rises early these days. So wake up early and go for a walk. Take the scripture cards with you, just walk and pray and meditate on the word and do your quiet time. That way, this episode is brought to you back here, ology, we're talking a lot about a mid-year reset and something that a lot of us needs to go ahead and reset is our skincare routine.

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That's better Let's get back to the show. Four is the most important. It should have been. Number one, do a digital and information detox. You can determine how long that is. But what I want you to do is to get offline, get off line. It is crazy how much information that we are bombarded with. The second that we open our phones is so much like if I pick up my phone right now, the news app is going to have the top news stories all over the world. If I go on the Instagram ad is going to pop up, selling me a couch, somebody else is going to have a video of something.

Somebody else is going to be on vacation. I'm mad, cause I'm still in Maryland. Like it's going to be so much some type of gossip. Somebody is telling somebody's business and that's all on the internet and social media. It's just so much that we are bombarded with. It is exhausting and it's subconsciously exhausting because it's not in your physical life, but because you're, we're so inundated with our phones and our devices, we get thrown into so many different worlds at the same time, and that can contribute to our feelings of overwhelm and our mental fogginess. So I want you to take a digital detox. And this was the, probably the biggest impact for me so far over the last couple of weeks, I have not been on Instagram.

I got on the other day because apple was talking about rolling out this subscription service for podcast. And I was like, I was talking to somebody about it. And I said, I wonder what my father was thinking about this. And so I had posted on Instagram and I was engaging with a few of you guys about how you feel about it. After that it was gone. I deleted it after I got, you know, just y'all opinions and things like that, that I was curious about. I got off of it. Like I don't have to be on there, there, you don't have to be on there. So even if you don't have a team that's going to post online, you can engage with the apps, the planet leads, the laters, the hoot suites, or whatever, engage with these apps to where you're creating your content offline.

You're uploading it. And that's it. And some of these apps, you can even respond to comments right in the app. So you don't even have to open Instagram or Tik TOK or whatever. Well, I don't, I'm not sure about Tik TOK. Let me just focus on Instagram. You don't even have to open up Instagram to reply to your comments. You can do that right from the scheduling apps. So, and now with some of the apps, you can even schedule out stories. So you really don't have to be in the app at all. So just take a second or however much time that you need to just detox from that. Even with information, take a break from information instead of reading another self-help book. That's when I have you on this headstrong rampage about why you need to be executed more, take, read a novel, raise something that is going to a romance, novel, something that's going to put you in a beautiful love story or some other type of novel.

That's going to put you in a different place. And as opposed to something that's going to trigger that inner hustler. You know what I mean? And so information detoxes, I think are just important as digital detoxes, because with the digital stuff, we're in consuming all of this, all of this information and opinions and all of that. But then when you add the information detox on top of the digital, you're taking out a lot of the other things that you may do that are clogging your mind, like reading those articles on the top five habits of successful people. And now your, your mind is cloudy with how you can implement these five things, as opposed to just being content with the season that you're in. Or you have all of these books about how to find a husband, as opposed to just continuing to strengthen your relationship with God.

And he'll tell you what you need to do to be a better you, and to be a better servant of him and a better daughter of his, it blows my mind how many single people have conversations online about what you or anybody else needs to do in order to be the, in order to be a wife or in order to be a husband or in order to attract this type of man or this type of woman. When all you need to do is focus on being happy, focused on your relationship with God. And then as you focus on those things, you will be led to whatever it is that you need to be led to by you seeking first, the kingdom of God, all things will be added unto you. His word is a lamp upon our feet, a light upon our path.

So all of this stuff, people talking about when the internet is guessing is hearsay. And you're going to have to unlearn and relearn new things. When you actually meet the person you're going to marry, because nothing is one size fit all you don't. I didn't need to learn how to be a wife. I needed to learn how to be BJ's wife. And I couldn't learn how to be BJ's wife until I met BJ. So when the meantime, I just needed to focus on being a Tatum who loves the Lord. And certain is out here doing the things he called her to do. And when that time came, it came, but nevermind. Let me, let me be quiet. Cause I don't talk about relationships. That was number four, do a digital and information detox.

Number five, clean your house and your workspace. Just rearrange some things. And now listen. Y'all because if y'all like me, you need to be reminded. Listen, don't go out and spend no money says, let me say it one more time. Don't go out and spend no money. Get off of Amazon. Don't go into target and go into the home section. Use the things that you have and just rework it a little bit. And I'm telling y'all it is because if I was to hear that it's clean bet, Tatum say less. I'm on, I'm in the car right now by the buy some stuff. No, just clean it up and straighten it up this past weekend, we sent our son to my mom's for the weekend and we were able to just reorganize our whole like downstairs area because my son had took it over.

So we moved one of the couches out to open up the space. We took some stuff that was upstairs and put it downstairs and vice versa, but just changing it and throwing away stuff. So his bottles, right? He's transitioned off of bottles now. So getting rid of all his bottles and all his old clothes and toys that he's outgrown, I was able to give stuff to my friends of mine who had babies. And so just clearing out our workspace. Me and BJ was sitting on the couch, looking at each other, like, why didn't we do this this sooner? And now it just feels so good. It's like a refresh or reset that has happened in our home by just simply cleaning stuff out, doing some spring cleaning and moving things around.

Now my sixth idea is for the married ladies and y'all can be like potato. I, I believe you said this, cause y'all not used to me getting into this side of myself, but check this out for the married ladies, buy something sexy. That makes you feel beautiful. That just makes you feel like you're that chick and have more sex. Sex is a beautiful thing between a husband and wife. It releases endorphins. It helps you relax, not be as stressed, do it and do it a lot. Seriously. You can get busy. It may be a lot going on where you may be too tired and you're not having sex like your youth, like you used to. It happens to everybody.

But during this mid-year reset, reset that bedroom too. It'll alleviate so much stress. You'll sleep better. Shoot do it in the morning. It might be the best start to your day might be better than coffee. Like dude, whatever it is that you gotta do do it as often as you want. But it's just such. Sex is just such an amazing stress reliever. So again, for my wives buss down says, okay, let me stop cutting up. This episode is brought to you by Can I tell y'all how much I hate going to the post office? It's always a long line.

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We like to get things done. We just check one thing off the to-do list on to the next, but practice being present. And sometimes even when we're doing one thing, we're thinking about what we have to do next. So we're not being mindful in those moments. But one thing I realized that can just be so stress-relieving and also just allow you to be more present. It's just soaking up every moment. So like, when you drink your coffee in the morning, smell it, taste the coffee. I love coffee. And I hate when I'm drinking coffee while I'm like feeding my son. I do it because I drink coffee. Like it's just a habit. Like every morning I have a cup of coffee.

And so, but then also every morning I'm getting my son's food prepared for the day and getting his breakfast together, feeding him and stuff like that. So a lot of times I'm drinking my coffee in the midst of all of that. And sometimes I get mad because I'm like, dang, I didn't even sit and enjoy it. Like that was a good cup of coffee, but I don't even remember it because I was doing too much while I was drinking it. So just doing something different by sitting down, smelling a creamer tea, tasting it, what does it taste like? Like if you're a coffee drinkers, you're really appreciate this, but just stop it. Stop, smell the coffee, taste the coffee. When you're spending time with your kids, look at them, look at your features. This is something even before, I mean, look at their features.

This was something even before I did buy, I started my little reset journey and I like to not have my phone out when I'm spending time with my son, it's always around, but just somewhere else. And so I love to just look at him like he has this little gap. He has about five or 16. He has this little gap in the front and I think it's so cute. Cause I had a gap when I was young. I still have a small one from not wearing my retainer, but he has this little gap or when he laughs he lasts from like the pit of his stomach, like is a good, good hearty laugh, just small things like that. Like when, if I tell him, give me a kiss, he'll come and give me a kiss.

Just little things like that is so beautiful to just watch him and touch his curls. And just that time and being present in that time, it helps me feel good. It's like, it reminds me personally what I'm working for. It reminds me of my why. And I started my business and things before having a son obviously, but just, he just recharges me. And I think, especially now, if you guys have been homeschooling your kids or your kids have been doing virtual learning and stuff like that, you may have gotten so used to them being around and happened to, you know, you may be juggling many things in the household and everybody's home. I challenge you to really just spend some time with your husband, your kids, whoever who, whoever is in your household and just spend time uninterrupted, just pay attention to small things.

I promise you if you do that, it'll just bring you an indescribable amount of joy. My son is having his toddler meltdowns right now. And sometimes, usually in the evenings, me and my husband, we hang out and play with him and stuff together. And he had his little meltdowns. He stretches back out and throw his head back. And me and my husband is looking at each other and start laughing. Like it's just funny. We're trying not to encourage the behavior about laughing at him, but we're just paying attention to him. And it just brings us joy to just watch this little person that we created that I love produced is it really puts life in things in perspective, especially as entrepreneurs and as driven people where we're building these businesses and getting these degrees and starting these careers is something that just puts life into perspective.

When you tap into the day to day, when you actually look at your husband in the evening and talk to him, look him in his eyes as opposed to being on the phone or me and my husband. We own we'd be reading books in the bed at night, but just looking at each other and just talking as opposed to watching TV or just doing things next to each other. It just does something different when you are fully present and your day to day. And that's really been a game changer for me and why I don't know how long my reset is going to be, but I really enjoy that just the day to day the presence, the realizing that a lot of the things that were once prayers are now here, and I think that's a big, the biggest part of being present is it just puts into perspective that the things that you have in your life right now, you once pray for, and it just reminds you that the things that you're praying for now and believing in God for now, they'll come, they'll come.

But in the meantime, let me just enjoy what was once a note or online in my prayer journal, number eight, go somewhere visually beautiful and mentally stimulating like a museum or a botanical garden. Just go to like a, if you're in a DC area, I suggest going to like the African-American museum, any where I live in a DMV area, it's a lot of museums, but wherever you are go to maybe some type of art museum, a botanical garden somewhere that's, that's beautiful that you can just go to and soak up the beauty of nature.

I like botanical gardens because it reminds me of that scripture where it talks about if God was to put so much thought into the wild flowers, which most people will never even see that don't you think he is concerned with you. And so when you look at nature and just the, the details and the intricacies of flowers and birds or different animals or whatever, it really, for me, it brings that scripture back home. And I think it'll allow you to appreciate just the beauty of God's creations and appreciate yourself as the beauty of God's creation in you. And I don't know that for me does something.

And so, and a lot of you guys, if you are visual people, I would suggest doing this because it can bring things full circle for you. As you're looking at the creativity of God, it will help you to tap into the creativity within yourself. Number nine, do a staycation. If you can. Most of these things don't even require spending any money, but this one do a staycation, find a hotel or something somewhere nice, and your area could be an Airbnb and just chill for the weekend. Don't be in there on social media, remember detox, but be there, get you in my book, relax, get you a nice magazine.

Just spend time with yourself. And then number 10, something you can do while on this vacation is revisit those goals. Remember up to this point, we had number 10, we haven't even talked about goals. We even talked about all of the things that you might've wrote down in the beginning of the year. But now, while you're doing this detox, now that your mind is clear, now that you are taking a step back from the hustle and bustle of life, and you're able to now just zone out a bit, revisit those goals and check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What's working. What's not, what can you do to make the second half of this year better and understand that this isn't doing.

This is not about achievement, but it's about fulfillment as well as efficiency. So again, when you're checking in with yourself, it's not about achievement. It's not like, oh, I had 10 goals for the year. Now I I've done five. Okay, bet. What are we going to do to get these other five checked off? Like, no, what are we going to do to post something? No, no, no, no, no. It's not about achievement. It's about fulfillment because a lot of us who have a lot of accolades, but we're not happy. We have a lot of degrees. We have a lot of money. We have a lot of success. We have a lot of post-approval achievements, but we are not fulfilled and we are not happy. And so that's not the life that I want us to build a part of being blessed and ball stuff is being happy.

It's having peace of mind. It's having joy. So when you do this again, it's about checking in to see how you can be more fulfilled and as well as how you can be more efficient, because we want to make sure that all of the efforts we are doing, we, they make the most sense. They're multiplying. They're giving us returns on our investments. So we want to make sure we're being great stewards of what we have going on. But you also want to be a great steward of yourself, of your mental health, of your peace, of your joy. And then lastly, and this is so simple. Get some sleep, SIS, get some sleep, whatever you got to do, whatever time you wake up, count back eight hours.

That's what time you need to go to bed. If it takes you usually an hour or so to wind down, get in the bed an hour before then so that you can have that wind down period before going to sleep, but get you some sleep. One thing everybody knows about me. If you text Tatum past 10 o'clock, she is not responding until the morning. Maybe you might get a response around maybe eight or something in the morning. I'm up before then, but I ain't responding to text messages as soon as I wake up, but I'm sleep. It was one thing I don't play about y'all is going to sleep. So get you some sleep. You guys like rest and not just that sleep where you wake up with a headache and you ain't, you groggy, no rest that sleep where you don't have a care in the world, get you some sleep.

All right, you guys, I hope I've convinced you to have a mid-year reset. I hope I've given you enough ideas on things to do within this reset. Make sure you follow us on Instagram at blessed and bossed up. Follow me at Tatum to Mia and that's it. That's all. I will talk to you guys next week.


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