Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Blessed and Bossed Up Podcast and this is our 200th episode you guys; yes, I cannot believe I’ve been running my mouth 200 times on this podcast like it's crazy. But I'm just so grateful for this platform and I'm grateful that God trusts me to pour into his people in this type of way. It's an honor to be the voice behind this community because this podcast is not about me, it's about God's will being done and it's about the community.
I may be the voice that y'all hear every single week, but this is all God's and so I'm just thankful and grateful that I'm still doing this and we're doing a giveaway though for our 200th episode. I am giving away a copy of my God is my CEO prayer journal and I'm also giving away my favorite Study Bible. So, if y’all have been listening to the show long enough y'all know I always recommend the life application Study Bible and I honestly just advocate for anybody getting a good Study Bible.
Because a good Study Bible really allows you to understand God's word so that you can apply it in your life and so the one I always recommend I'm going to be giving it away along with my prayer journal. In order to enter you have to be following blessed and bossed up on IG and post a one-minute video telling us how the Blessed and Bossed Up Podcast has impacted your life. Make sure that you use the hashtag BBU giveaway so that we see it; winners will be announced Friday October 23rd at 6pm on our Instagram stories.
One video per person and the winners will be picked randomly. I already know I'm going to have to have me some tissues because y'all man, when I read the reviews, when y'all email me or DM me. I’ll really be out here turning into mush because I'm just in awe of the way that God uses this platform and it's just honestly an honor. I don't think I’ll ever get used to it, but also in honor of our 200th episode leave a review you guys, give us a review so that other people can know how awesome the podcast is and they can take a listen and have their lives changed as well.
So, leave us a review on Spotify, Apple Podcast, sound cloud, wherever you're listening to the show leave us a review. All right let's pick up where we left off last week, so this is part two to how to be consistent with God's plan for your life. If you guys missed last week's episode go ahead and pause right here, I gave you a second and go back to listen to the other one.
But quick recap, point number one, in order to be consistent with God's plan for your life is to put yourself in the mindset that it's above you, meaning the result the how the plans being established is not your job it's God's job. Point number two, become disciplined in your decisions; now let’s pick up with point number three, in order to be consistent with God's plan for your life you have to put your trust in the impossible.
That goes back to that tug of war that I talked about before that a lot of us find ourselves in where our flesh wants to be practical, our flesh wants normal. Our flesh wants what it can conceive as possible, but you have to put your trust in a God that does exceedingly and abundantly above anything that we can ask for or think. The way that you do that is through faith; I'm going to always give you the definition of faith from Hebrews 11 and 1.
It is, faith is confidence in things hoped for assurance about things unseen, so in essence with point number three what I'm telling you to do is have faith and the way that you have faith is you put your trust in the impossible. You have a settled way of thinking, remember a few episodes ago I talked about how having an attitude means having a settled way of thinking, so you have to have a settled way of thinking that the impossible is feasible.
Trust that God will do his part in establishing it in your life; it's as simple as that we cannot be consistent with God's plan for our life without faith, without trusting the impossible. Without understanding that even if we don't see how he's working things out; that they're being worked out. That we understand that he is a magnificent God and magnificent things will happen for us without us trying to be the ones making them happen.
To a lot of us the key to being consistent is to consistently get your hands off the wheel, tie your hands behind your back. I know this is a silly example, but if I go to the doctor and if I get some type of throat swab. So, if I get sick or something like that and I go to the doctor and they do like a throat swab. I have like a reaction, a reflex so to speak to where when they do it I smack like my hand swings. So, I understand this and so when or if I get sick, I have some type of throat ache and they go to do it I tell them.
I'm like, “listen, I'm going to probably smack you and I'm not trying to be rude” and I don't know how you tell somebody you're not trying to be rude and smack them. But that's what I tell them, “like look, it's a reflex I'm really not trying to put my hands on you, but it's what I do and so and I can't help it.” So, what I do to tame that is, I usually sit on my hands while they do it so that I don't swing on them.
But a lot of us, we need to sit on our hands in order for us, like it's a reflex for us to take control and I'm sure it presents itself in a lot of areas in our life. I know for me when I got married, submitting to my husband and not being in control of every aspect of everything was hard and I had to work that out through counseling before we got married. Control is like my default setting because it's rooted in the fact that I always had to look out for myself and when I was in control, I was comfortable.
I was confident and a lot of times when I was in control things worked out well, but that's not going to work when it comes to the supernatural and doing things God's way. I have to get rid of control and so what I have to do just like in the natural way I smack people when they doing any type of throat exam. I have to sit on my hands when it comes to the things of God and that's not to say that I don't work, but it's to say that my sitting on my hands as far as faith goes is me making sure that I'm sitting under him.
That I'm having those business meetings with him, so that when I'm going out and I'm working and I'm doing things that God wants me to do and not things that I think I need to do. So, I'm working from a place to where I'm constantly being filled by him and using that to determine my ways, I'm allowing his word to be a lamp upon my feet. I'm allowing him to establish some things as opposed to me trying to figure it out myself. So again, some of you guys in order for you to be consistent you have to put your trust in the impossible.
You have to have faith, you have to take your hands off the steering wheel and sit on them and that's going to be different for every person, that's why knowing ourselves is important. So for you, it may be you just have to keep something in front of you so the background of your computer needs to be still on know that ‘I'm God’ scripture. The background of your phone needs to be that, my friend Tish always recommends this.
Maybe you can put notifications in your phone to where you are getting notifications every day that's reminding you to trust God, so these are the ways that you can sit on your hands. These are the controls that you can put in place, we have an app coming up though y'all. Speaking of 200 episodes, let's spill a little T, we have an app that's going to be developed by Keviah's company, the app outlet that's going to be coming out for our four-year anniversary that I'm so excited about, that app will be able to help you with this as well.
Nevertheless, in order to be consistent, have faith meaning put your trust in the impossible. Point number four, create boundaries and it's so hard for us as women to create boundaries because we feel like we have to be all things for everyone at the same time. We don't know how to tell people ‘NO’ because we feel like if we tell people no, somehow that means we're being mean or we're not holding up our weight or whatever.
But that's just a lie to keep us burnt out, when I look at the proverbs 31 woman because that's how I try to model my life now with all of the different hats that I wear. I'm looking at how she did things, she woke up early, she delegated and then she worked strategically and made sure that her dealings were profitable. So, the scripture said, “she made sure her dealings were profitable,” so to me that meant that she worked strategically in a way that was beneficial and I feel like a part of that is making boundaries.
I mean it's creating boundaries, she delegated, that's creating boundaries that mean that she's not doing everything, she's doing what she can do and she's delegating the rest. I was telling them in the society that I make a list every single week, I plan out my week, I look at the open projects that we have in business, I see God on what I need to do that week and then I create tasks for every single thing that I need to do.
Then I look at those tasks and say what only needs me and what can I delegate out so when it comes to things like cleaning my house it gets delegated. I like to cook and I hate when food is nasty, nothing grinds my gears more than nasty food, so the whole hiring somebody else to cook thing I'm not really on that right now because I enjoy it. If the food nasty I'm going to want to refund and I would be bad, but I still cook, but cleaning the house I’m delegating that out, laundry, me and my husband are going have to decide who going to do the laundry when.
I am not doing everything, if I cook he cleans the kitchen so I'm delegating things out, child care gets delegated out. My son is well taken care of by my mom and my grandmother and I praise God for them so that's something that I don't have to do during the day.
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But even in my business what can I delegate out? What are the administrative tasks that are just adding up to a lot? I delegate that out to my assistant, all the marketing stuff with social media and YouTube and all this great content that y'all be seeing, I’m not doing that. I show up, I talk, I do what only I can do, and I leave the experts to do what they do.
So, my marketing person does everything, even looking at other areas in my business that I feel that I can delegate. So I'm like, “okay, how can I now make other strategic hiring decisions so that I can delegate, that's creating boundaries, that's protecting my peace, that's protecting my peace of mind. That's making sure that I'm not overwhelmed, that's making sure that I'm not pouring out from an empty cup and then also creating boundaries around anything that gets me out of position.
So last week we talked about having that mindset, we talked about getting in position and I said that, “it's our position as believers to have peace that the how isn't our responsibility. It's our posture to abide in him and expect that we will bear much fruit.” So, for me anything that gets me out of position to where I'm trying to make the how my responsibility, I have to create boundaries around that and protect it.
And so, I told you guys that I'm an overachiever by nature and so what I found, especially in this season of my life and I’ve been very transparent about it on the podcast is, as I have been trying to balance it all, of being a mother, entrepreneur and a wife and all of these hats that I wear. As I’ve been trying to do all of those things and maintain and steward my blessings well, I’ve fallen back a lot of times into my old habits of being controlling or trying to be a perfectionist or trying to do it all and be great when it's not my job to be great.
It’s my job to declare God's excellences and it's my job to make sure that I'm positioned under him so that he could fill me up as I pour out and so as I'm learning the error of my ways, I have to make sure that I'm creating boundaries that protects that position. And the way that I do that is, I have to for one, I got to make sure that I protect what I see, so like with social media I don't follow anybody who is trying to make life too perfect.
I don't believe in that, I don't need to see your whole life and I'm not saying that either, I don't believe anybody should be posting everything about their life. I understand what social media is, but at the same time if that's something that somebody is putting out there, I can't look at it. You know they're free to do whatever they want to do, but in order for me to create boundaries I can't look at it.
Anybody who feeds me getting out of position has to go, when thoughts come into my head that I'm getting it wrong. I told the story about in the society how I had just finished, because in October I started the profitable podcast accelerator, which is a program that's happening in the month of October. For those who have a podcast, a business and I'm working with them on making their show profitable.
So I was so excited one night, I had finished the session with them, I still needed to do the podcast, the week was coming to an end because I do them on Thursdays and so I was like, “okay, I have to push through and get this podcast down.” So I was like, “God, please give me the strength to get this show done,” so I pushed through. I had meetings all day, so I had been talking all day, I had did the session with them so there's another over an hour of talking then I did the podcast which was another about an hour of talking.
So, then I'm feeling myself, I'm proud of myself, I'm happy, I'm like, “Tatum, you did good,” I'm like, “God, thank you for giving me the strength to do this.” And so, I go to heat up one of my cookies, I’m not supposed to be eating that, whatever I go heat up a little snickerdoodle because I earned it. I was about to sit down and put my feet up and my husband said, “Can you empty out the dishwasher?” I was like, “hold on I’ll do it in a second, I’ve been talking for a while let me sit down for a second.”
He was like, “I don't understand why you can't do it right now” and I was like, “yo, who is this and who're you talking to?” But in that moment, it was very pivotal for me because, and this is why I always talk to you guys about the gift of discerning of spirits because you got to understand what you're dealing with in a day to day. So, I was annoyed with my husband for that comment because I felt that he disregarded at how hard I worked that day and that I felt like the dishes could wait.
But I also understood that this was the enemy trying to use this situation to get me out of position and I thank God for wisdom and the gift of discerning the spirits because I was able to identify what was happening.
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So, the way that I created that boundary was a few days after, it was the weekend, we were baby free and my husband and I go for walks all the time. So I was like, “okay listen, the other day you told me to empty the dishwasher and you was real adamant about me doing it right then and there. Look, this is what I'm dealing with right now, I'm trying to make sure that I'm not going back to a space where I'm trying to do things in my own strength.” And I explained to him how God has showed me that the reason I was so overwhelmed and burnt out was because I was trying to be excellent as opposed to proclaiming his excellency.
So, I explained that to him, I told him that, “you know, I beat myself up a lot if I don't get things right and that's not effective because that's getting me out of position. If I was to stay in position I would give myself grace because if God gives me grace, that means I need to give it to myself too.” And so, I told him that, that moment was something that was fueling an internal battle that I had going on and so we had to now make an adjustment to how we did things because we always hold each other accountable.
So, something like that wouldn't have been that big of a deal six months ago, but it's a big deal now because now circumstances have changed, the season that I'm in personally has changed. So now there needs to be a boundary created to say, “okay now, how we communicate about when someone needs to do something around the house or whatever we need to change that.
And so, we were able to have that conversation and come to a conclusion, but that's creating a boundary and in order to appropriately create boundaries you got to identify what gets you out of position, you have to identify what's leading to you not being consistent with god's plan for your life. Is it because you're spending too much time on social media and looking at everybody's highlight reel that makes you want to put yourself back in control?
Is it because you see people who are not even checking for God for real being successful and you feel like you're being the most obedient you've ever been, but you're seemingly the least successful you've ever been and so that's fueling your lack of consistency in his plan? Put boundaries around that, change what you look at, change what you're feeding yourself, change what you're seeing every single day.
Are you only reading books about grind culture and not reading books about God's timing and being on pace with his timing for your life and your business and all of these things? We have to create boundaries guys, we have to create boundaries to make sure that we're staying in the position we need to stay into and overall being consistent with God's plan for our life. I remember something else that I had to switch up about how I'm doing things now and implement new boundaries is I can't do any live sessions in the evenings anymore.
That used to never be a problem, most of the things that I did was like a 7p.m type of thing and so now I can't do that, it kills me when I'm done working and my son’s asleep, I hate it. My first ministry is my household, like my son needs to be, I want to be the first person he sees when he wakes up which I am and we have our moments in the mornings. It's like our us time before I drop him off and go to work, but I want to be the first person he sees when he wakes up and I want to be the last person that he sees before he goes to bed.
I want him to understand that he's way more important than any business and he's way more important than any of the works that I may be doing or anything like that, that he matters. Because even going back to that book and watch my YouTube video about the books I'm reading, but the book about the seven mountains of influence on the mountain of family, I learned that what really drives families apart and what the enemy really uses to ruin or try attempt to ruin God's plan and families is he plants rejection.
He plants it in various forms so get the book, but one thing that I really took note of that and when I read that book I was pregnant, so I was like, “when I have a my child I'm not going to plant any seed of rejection.” And so, a big thing for me in not doing that is to make sure that he understands that he's a priority. So, I'm like, “look my audience is going to have to adjust, we got to do lunchtime lives, we can do whatever we want during the day, but in the evening I need to be there to put that boy to bed.”
One of the best days that I had in work, like maybe last week I was of course there with him in the morning, dropped him off, I came to the office and I got a lot done in business. I was really excited about everything that I got done and I came home just in time, my husband had just given him a bath and I came home just in time to oil him up. You know he a black baby we have to keep that skin moisturized, I came home in just enough time to oil him up and put his pajamas on and read ‘Llama Llama, red pajama’ before putting him to bed.
I felt so accomplished that day, so accomplished because I felt like that was a day that I got it right and that was a day that I felt like I was truly operating in alignment with what God has for me in this season. So again, it all goes back to creating boundaries you guys and then point number five, the last point is, do not conform, if you want to be consistent with God's plan for your life do not conform. That's in mindsets and in deeds, so don't conform to the way that the world thinks, don't conform to the way that the world does business, don't even imitate it.
Deuteronomy 18 9-13 and I forgot to tell you guys click the link in the show notes you can download a list of all the scriptures that I mentioned on this week's and last week's episode. I know a lot of times you guys are taking notes; you are listening to the show while you may be out and about so to make things easier because with this these two episodes I’ve given a lot. So, I had them all listed out for you, just click the link in the show notes and then the document will be emailed to you.
So, Deuteronomy 18 9-13, I'm going to read it in the new living translation, it says, “when you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you be very careful not to imitate the detestable customs of the nations living there. For example, never sacrifice your son or daughter as a burnt offering and do not let your people practice fortune telling or use sorcery or interpret omens or engage in with witchcraft.
Or cast spells or function as mediums or psychics or call forth the spirits of the dead anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord. It is because the other nations have done these detestable things that the Lord your God will drive them out ahead of you, you must be blameless before the Lord your God.”
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And so, I want to note that where they are in this particular scripture, God was finally letting the people of Israel get into the Promised Land, finally. Finally, letting them get into the Promised Land and now he was giving them instructions. He was letting them know that they were right there at the land flowing with milk and honey and he was driving out the nations ahead of them. He was letting them know that when they got in there do not conform to what everybody else is doing, stay focused on me, continue to stay focused on me, you must be blameless before me.
So, I don't care that they're out there burning stage to clear out spirits in their house and I don't care that they're out there doing tarot readings on Instagram to see if they're going to be successful. I don't care if they're out there saying that tithing isn't in the Bible and you shouldn't give your 10% of money to anybody. I don't care what they're doing, I don't care that they're telling you things like you could eat the meat and spit out the bones, I called you to be set apart.
You have to be very careful not to imitate the detestable customs of the nations living there. And so for us, we have to be careful not to imitate the customs of the world when we're trying to be consistent with God's plan for our life, because all that's going to do is get us off course. God wants us to be blameless before him, he called us to be set apart, we're supposed to do the influencing; they're not supposed to influence us.
We're supposed to be able to occupy this space, but occupy it with a level of integrity and purity so that we are influencing them to follow our God based off of what he is doing and not trying to marry the two methods in order to somehow… I don't even know. But the root of it is, we are supposed to be blameless and that's not to say that you're going to do everything right but be blameless, I mean stay committed to what God has you doing. I mean delight yourself in him so that he can establish your plans and by doing that in whatever mountain that you're called to.
By doing that let's say… just going to use the mountain of media for example. So, by doing that in the media industry I'm now doing things God's way in a way to where I'm not conforming with how other people are doing podcasts, how other people are telling stories, how other people are showing up. I'm doing what god needs me to do and so I'm doing the influencing, I'm not to be influenced by how they do things, if you're called to government, you're not to be influenced by how they set policies you're supposed to be blameless.
You're supposed to delight yourself in the Lord so that he can establish how you are to do things, if you're called to education, you're not supposed to conform to them telling you that you have to do things a certain type of way. You have to run your class a certain type of way, even now the whole system is disrupted with the virtual learning and things of that nature, so you're supposed to stay committed to how God wants you to do things and not try to conform.
I keep seeing this word, well I saw this more so before the social media fast, I haven't seen it a lot lately, but I came across somewhere where somebody was talking about spiritual fluidity or something and I was like, “what, what is that, how dare we try to build a God like that?” That's basically what it is, like how dare we try to build a God or build a faith that we're comfortable with?
I don't want to create a new faith or create a new way that I should be living; I want to do what God has already laid out for me to do because there's so much in that. I can't create nothing that's better than what He has already established for me or what he has already laid out for me, so again, do not conform to how they do things in mindset or in deeds. You may not even get to the point where you're doing the things that the world is doing, but don't allow your mind to be transformed, allow your mind to be renewed.
Don't even think the way that the world thinks because it's always going to put you in a box that God never designed for you to be in, God was preparing the people of Israel for the Promised Land. The land was already there, the land was flowing with milk and honey, it was already there they just had to occupy it. It was already established, but they messed it up once again by going against what God told them to do, they messed it up once again by learning about the detestable customs of the nations living there or imitating the detestable customs of the nations living there.
Even when I look at one thing that I was thinking about recently because we just did the social media fast was about even on social media and how it’s set up. The whole influencer paradigm is set up so that you can show everybody how amazing you are; make them want to be like you in an effort for you to sell things to them, for them to achieve the result that you did. That's how it is, as I build up this this cult-like following that is all hell to me, so that I can then sell that following things and make money from the brands, that's how I was set up.
And it reminded me of James 4:16 which is, I'm a reader in the New Living Translation and it says, “You’re boasting about your own pretentious plans and all such boasting is evil.” It's evil to be out here and that hit me, like it's evil to be out here acting like you're that great and not declaring God's excellencies which first Peter 5:9 tells us that we need to be doing. It made me also think about Matthew 6:1 and I'm going to read it in the new message version.
It says, “Be especially careful when you're trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it, it might be good theater but the God who made you won't be applauding.” So the world is telling us that we need to build this following, that we need to build this brand, that we need to build this level of influence because that's going to make us money. That's going to accomplish all this business success, but God is like, “no, you’re boasting about your own pretentious plan; that’s evil.”
God is saying, “No, no, no; don't make a performance and then choose,” a lot of people of faith making some performances sure, but I digress. He said, “don't make a performance out of it, it might be good theater, you might get them likes, you might get them views, you might get them comments, but God, the God who made you He's not applauding.” That stuck with me and even when it comes to my social media, because it's not to say that God doesn't want us to have platforms he does, but we have to do it to again declare his excellencies so that he gets the glory.
So those likes are going to him, so that applause is going to him and not to us and even with me translating that to how I do business and things, how I do this podcast. It’s strategic why my face isn't the only face that you see on our social medias and stuff like that with the podcast, yes you hear my voice because I'm the host of the show, but I'm posting people from the society. I have like Keviah on the page, I have other speakers, we repost videos of them when we post content.
It’s not all pictures of me it’s pictures from the tour and things where we are communicating that this is a community of people who are growing to serve God. This is not the Tatum show, this is not the tape, I don't want to build a cult like following for myself, I'm nothing without God. I'm not that great, but God does great things through me because of my positioning and because of my commitment to be disciplined in my decisions enough to where I'm on a path to just make sure that they're always in line with him.
I don't always get it right, but because of my relationship with him I always get back into position even if I do get off track. So even when it comes to my social media, I'm telling my team things like, “we need to focus more on educational content.” I want to continue to teach people how to get closer to God, I don't want my page to be all about ‘look what I'm wearing, look how great I am, look at me.’
No, I want people to be able to learn how to build a relationship with God so that they can commit to that process, they can see his best and they can see his hand shown in their lives, that's what I want to do. Let's share value and let's glorify God that's it, when it comes to business with Anchor Media, social media’s and all that look we help people build profitable podcasts. So that's what we're going to talk about, we're going to give people educational content so they can do that.
We're going to solve their problems through our products and services; it's not going to be the Tatum show. So you'll see my face on the YouTube channel giving education, but I'm not talking about me, I'm teaching, you get what I'm saying? So again, our purpose is to send people back to the father and not accumulate a bunch of followers, for me that's not doing things God's way. I came to that conclusion because I understood that I don't need to conform to what the world says or the way that the world says that I need to build a brand or I need to do business.
I’ve been off that, I remember when I started the podcast and this wasn't even a God thing, but I was just like, “look, I know everybody say I need to be on social media, but I'm doing a podcast because I think that's where I need to be. And look what it's amounted to, didn't even have a large social media following back then, didn't even have…, like there wasn't any personal influence or nothing like that back then.
I still don't have as many followers as I got listeners on this show, but the way that that I’ve been able to be consistent with God's plan for my life and the way that I want you to do that as well, which our last point was, don't conform. Do not conform. Do not conform you guys do not conform, what contributes to that tug of war a lot of times that we talked about last week is because we're paying too much attention to how everybody else is doing stuff and not enough attention to our father. That's why I did the episode on how to have a business meeting with God, because we have to go to Him to get the blueprint.
Remember last week, we said in Proverbs 16:9, we plan the way we want to live but only God makes us able to live it, so if God makes you able to live it, go to God for the plan on how you need to be moving forward. So, I'm going to go ahead and just wrap up there, let's recap one more time you guys, how to be consistent with God's plan for your life. Number one was, “put yourself in the mindset that it's above you, number two become disciplined in your decisions.
Number three, put your trust in the impossible aka faith, number four create boundaries and then number five don't conform in mindset or in deeds. So that wraps up another episode of the Blessed and Bossed Up Podcast, I love you guys and happy 200th episode, don't forget about the giveaway. I'm giving away the God is my CEO prayer journal as well as my Study Bible, follow us at Blessed and Bossed Up, submit your video on how the podcast has changed your life. Make sure you use the hashtag bbu giveaway and the winners are going to be announced in our stories love you guys, I will talk to you next week.